[Shabbat Edition 015]

Shabbat Shalom, my loves!

This week has certainly been interesting…

A small synopsis

My moods and thoughts have been of nothing but poetic sense with a touch of music and set like a play in my mind. My brain has also done this *BOUNCE BOUNCE bounce BOUnce bouNCE* all over the freaking place. Maybe it’s because of the season of Summer One Acts. I’ll blame that.

As we all know, any time I’m doing a show, my life is literally all about that show, or any feelings inspired by the show.

Thursday (last night) we opened and it was successful for our first show. Still having issues in two areas for moving of furniture just because there’s so much going off/on, but I’m working towards (hopefully) perfecting it tomorrow.

While backstage waiting for one of the plays to be over to do my work, I wrote a completely new one act play, which has one heck of a twist and half! I’m very happy about this play. I also started working on an opera. Sometimes I write things knowing it’s for something, and sometimes I write backwards then realizing I can use that work. If that makes sense. And…. I wrote notes for a TV show that I started writing in 2017–due to something funny happening recently–and I realized I should probably work on that. So much writing, so much having to keep a thousand characters different and storylines different and oyvey…. I hope this pays off one day. My brain will literally explode if I don’t get it all out.

Also today: as it grows closer to my birthday, I’m having severe panic attacks. Every year, as I get older, it’s like…. these same questions… what have I actually done with my life? Have I made something out of myself? I often feel too much like I haven’t done anything. I said this today to someone and he was basically like, “Are you crazy? You’ve done so much, especially in the last few years.” I guess when you’re the one seeing you and what you’re doing in life, it’s much different than how everyone else views you. All I know is that things have to change come August. I’m feeling another midlife crisis coming on. Like, real bad this time.

Lessons Learned

Learned about the month of July antics and then the whole light/darkness theory in Jewish Mysticism.

I am learning what I can control and what I cannot, and maybe what I should or could’ve done better. (Stage managing)

I am also learning that–even though our actual theatre home is almost across/down the street–I should probably have a long list of everything we need to take with us so we’re not having to run back there (due to me). There weren’t many cases of that, because I didn’t forget very important things, but I forgot a few. This is my first time arranging the whole thing and stage managing almost completely by myself, but I’m still very critical of me. A little OCD, perfectionist and critical mixed with some sort of crazy…. makes for interesting when I do something wrong.

I really need to learn how to properly dress a table for elegant dining. It would be so helpful to have this knowledge in order to make the table look right. I also want to touch costuming one day, but not any time soon. I’m already doing too much as it is (for now).

Events / Special Moments

Preparing for the Summer One Acts. I can’t believe it’ll be over in two weeks, it’s going to go very fast. I know already, this is my 4th year.

I put up a party list in the green room and so far this first week: we’ve got plans tonight for drinks at our usual spot, early dinner on Saturday in between our two shows (our tradition) and then Sunday afterwards having dinner with someone who used to be with us and is coming back to see the show. This time, I’m going to have to get photos of everyone. I am always so caught up in the moment that I forget to take pictures.

What am I looking forward to this week?

Getting the show on the road.

Having M, T, W of next week off… but I think I made some commitments so I’m not officially off the hook.

Love Always,
Karen Maeby (Ahava)

she sings soprano
but her voice is only alto
hitting those notes, so high tho
so many songs inside her mind
a pen that is always busy
a notebook that is always full
a soul bursting with song
and love and love

what could ever go wrong?

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