Just when I thought things couldn’t get crazier, they do. I have discovered Kabbalah.com, and thus begins my journey into a whole other world….
Remember a long, long, long time ago when I wrote about feeling trapped–felt like a slave to my own life–back in March or April, only to realize that, well, that’s what Passover is all about? Escaping from that… then my feelings towards thinking the new year should start in the fall, and our Jewish new year does?
Right now, it appears, I’m on that same kind of mood trap along with the Jewish calendar of feelings….. It is apparently the perfect month to go searching deep within the soul for ‘light through the darkness’ — the same abundance of feelings that I’ve felt the last few days, maybe weeks. Uhhhh. Can I have a drink? It’s getting a little too spooky here how things are finally aligning and making sense to me… that I’m one step closer… and I’m regaining conscious of my soul, just like I was deeply connected to back when I was in school, but lost for many years until I started my journey to becoming Jewish. This is absolutely insane.
Posted yesterday on Kabbalah.com, an entry titled “Transforming Darkness into Light” (oh, for goodness sakes, when my soul felt it really strongly)–and I quote–
“The portion of Balak is about, on the surface, negativity, but in the greater picture it is about the protection from this negativity and the power to even transform it. It always is sent to us from the Creator during the time of Cancer, when our ruling celestial body is the moon. The moon is a rock that is totally absent of Light; it does not give, only receives. It is in this way we can come to see how our two villainous characters are a lot like the moon. However, the moon is able to shine when a transformation occurs. There is hope for every trace of darkness to turn into Light.”
“The month of Cancer gives us the power of sensitivity and nurturing so that we can make this vital transformation. A transformation that benefits the world, others, but, as always, benefits ourselves the most. For when we bless, we are blessed. It is the very reason we came to this world, to emerge from our cocoons having done our holy work of transforming darkness into Light.”
From an entry titled “Seeing Only The Light” I quote this:
“And what the kabbalists teach is that to be able to see Light where others see darkness, to be able to reveal Light where others experience darkness, is really the entire purpose we are in this world; the entire purpose our soul was put into this physical body was so that we can, throughout life, find those places that are dark, that have concealed Light within them, and reveal them as Light.”
Another one, “Having a Vision of Our Soul’s Purpose” quoted:
“The answer the kabbalists give is not just about that story, but more importantly, about our lives. Every single one of us comes into this world to accomplish certain things, and to influence a certain number of people. Maybe it is just our family, maybe it is our group of friends, or maybe it is even more expanded than that, but each one of us has a job in this world specifically for which our soul came, a task that cannot be accomplished by any other person. How do we come to see the vision of what that task, the purpose of our soul, is? How do we know if we are going in the right direction?”
“One of the ways to really know if something is our purpose is to think about whatever we feel it is, and ask ourselves if it is overwhelming. If it seems like something we do not have all the abilities to do, then we are probably right that it is our purpose. But if we look at it and say, “This is why I am here. Sure, it will take me some time, but I will do it,” then we are not seeing the total vision of the purpose of our soul. It is a vision we truly want to have, and one that we can draw in during this month of Cancer. We want to be able to live every single day of our lives with the knowledge, at least, that we are going in the direction of fulfilling our soul’s purpose in this world, a purpose that is unique only to ourselves. And having a vision of that purpose, if we ask for it, is a gift we can receive in the month of Cancer.”
Thoughts: the crab has been my spirit animal forever (horoscope: cancer), and there must be something very special about July. I want to embrace that, and all the feelings. I feel something happening here. Dear Universe… you know what to do.
Karen Maeby (Ahava)